Wow it's June! 27 years old and June 6.1.26 Lazy and behind with work but can't bring myself to care too much which I think is both a good and bad thing Busy crazy very good weekend Went to the freaking big apple to eat good sandwiches and go to prom and field day Tim's friend who owns the restaurant told him after the meeting that he was having a baby and it was very sweet and exciting I said congratulations on the baby and he said, congratulations on this baby, cute The restaurant is very charming, old tile and beautiful details on the white high ceiling, had espresso in a little brown cup and a lunch beer Wore a stupid wig to prom and had so much fun, took an embarassing number of selfies and scurried up on the half pipe in my sneakers and my gown Lots of fun chatting with strangers, loved talking to people about how much they love philly, I felt like an ambassador My cousins friends guessed that Jason (25) was 27 and that I (27) was 22??!! I don't think I actually want to be perceived as younger than I am haha I feel very much the age I am now Field day was crazy, there was another similar sized group doing their own field day right next to us so we joined forces to do tug of war and a big game of capture the flag. Felt good to run around, high intensity, but I think I've never loved sports because I really don't care about winning. I did leave it all on the field though, bruised and battered and soooo sore today Made it to the bus just in time and paid with a crisp 20 dollar bill, felt shakey and so tired but it was so nice to look at the trees out the window, very green Karaoke always makes me love my friends so much, stayed up incredibly late with Tim and woke up thinking I'd missed church but I made it, hooray Was sad to not sing at music sunday, missing my voice, but everyone was so cute and happy, love seeing all these people every week or so and saying hi and shaking hands lying in the park with the cast of the alchemist, watching the light in the tall trees, singing silly songs and cracking jokes and snacking 6.2.26 So hard to be productive when there's so much fun stuff to think about listening to Big Theif, texting, teetering on the edge of over caffeinated love being 27 6.8.26 Another big and awesome weekend! Sweet and kind of scary to be in love especially since we haven't said it- feels kinda soon but we've been spending so much time together assuming he is as well? hmmmm the tension of thinking it and not saying it is actually very fun Feeling worn out and maybe getting sick? Maybe just still a little hungover? Super amazing party, love being barely clothed, love fake blood, love sitting in a pool, love taking pictures, love my friends, love Liz Gonna be so nice to be roomies, will be here before we know it and then Spain baby Strangly anxious but I think it's just cause my body feels weird and I was scrambling to get the shirts done for the kids, was so sweet to see the fifth graders graduate, I might never see them again! Much love and many good wishes to them on their middle school journeys, a truly purgatorial time of life 6.15.26 Well well well, my boyfriend is in love with me big time, yippee! Apparently he was going to make himself wait three months to say it haha I'm glad I said it even if it was hasty The house we stayed in this weekend was crazy beautiful, all painted even the floor, turns out the woman who owns the house is an illustrator and we found the copy of Heidi she'd illustrated. The town was a "book village" too, like 4 book stores on the tiny mainstreet. It felt crazy, like a wish I'd made when I was 13 was only then being granted. Was feeling somewhat poorly yesterday in the car but felt cared for which was sweet, revived by sparkling water, emo music played very loudly, and also an advil, god bless. Feeling poorly again today and I think it's insufficient sleep / food, powerade and peanut butter crackers bring me back from the brink 6.18.26 Took a sip of my black coffee from dunkin and it was syrup sweet! Blah! Guy was drunk and ranting on the el this morning, was activively trying to get into fights (verbal) with people- I think he should just do stand up or something "They call this a free country but I can't go see a movie by myself?!" I was facing him in my sunglasses and he could tell I was listening so he starts sort of talking to me and apologizing, men are often apologizing to me in public for their behavior, an interesting phenomenon. He brought up his soundcloud and I laughed and he was like "lol shut up!" so it felt like we were friends a little, hope he stops drinking before 9am and trying to get in fights on public transit. Towards the end of the ride he pulled out a picture of him as a young boyscout from his wallet, it was very cute I will be very relieved when my sermon and summer camp planning are over, as I am behind on both. Excited to bring Tim on vacations, excited to vacation with my dear sweet friends Every turning of the seasons feels like a chance to "get on top of things", hopefully by the end of the summer I can get my driver's license renewed and go to an ent and order a new credit card and be settled into west philly and be more proactive with job, Aspirations! Manifesting! 6/19/26 Trying to understand my emotional states like someone (scientist maybe?) observing the qualities of some natural phenomenon, I don't know if this is a good thing Cannot trust my feelings to be real feelings, or that they're real but initially misidentified (nothing has happened I'm just maybe pmsing) there is a story I tell myself about myself where I have a deep well of sadness inside of me or I'm this loner crazy ghost lady but I dont actually think that's true or doesn't have to be or maybe isn't always It's like I have this sense that there are these internal true and fixed feelings that I need to uncover but actually the way I feel is always changing and I'm always changing and I have power, often, over the way I feel lots of cute nuns taking pictures at the fountain wearing different beautiful shades of blue and big silver crosses on simple strings Lots of Brazil fans too, I love philadelphia and the world will go for a jog and maybe eat a hard boiled egg #jock 6/25/26 Back at da beach after 3 days of summer camp which were actually very fun and good, I am so tired and my voice is gone which is stressful but I think the kids like me and like what we're doing, playing lots of dressup and encouraging their imaginations, it's been very silly. Feels so much better to be waking up early and doing things all day, I lack the self discipline for that much down time, I get very angry at myself for my tendency to stagnate funny how the more you move the more you want to move #momentum And on that note I have to write my sermon! I've been procrastinating and now I'm stressed out, feels like a funny thing to be stressed about, as with everything in my life. I have it so good that the mind finds ways of creating obstacles, wonder if there will ever be a time in my life that I feel I have a handle on time management Dancing with my parents and Aunt and cousins yesterday, 23 year old boys playing classic rock covers, incredibly lit Yearning for friend hangs, dreaming of Spain, enjoying being in love 6/28/26 Feeling lazy, messy house, behind behind, ants on the table! Gnats in the kitchen! Blah blah blah Watching the Vampire Diaries which is awesome, so many twists and turns Feeling needy and pathetic, maybe it's just hard coming out of vacation mode So excited for one month from now Will go on a sweaty jog today, blogging to hold myself to it 6/29/26 Am I being clingy? Hard to say, I feel the standard of communication has shifted, maybe only natural. I guess I'd rather worry that I'm too into it than not into it enough, but now I'm feeling a wee bit insecure, well we'll see each other soon Did in fact go on a sweaty jog yesterday that made me feel more normal, and I will go on another today with any luck Ran to the river, a little along the river, back from the river no headphones and no contact lenses, rhythmic breathing, sometimes sprinting, sometimes looking at the water Wanting to blame my mood on my hormones but usually by this time in the cycle I'm feeling better, hmmm, why so weepy Maybe I just need to be writing more poetry or something, couldn't hurt probably Wanting sooo badly to be back at the spa, eucalyptus and wet leaves and heat and super cold water, nice getting so in tune with the body via temperature, hoping to simulate that with jog today