Habit tracker or something like that. Trying to be faithful to the things I think are good to do Maybe what I'm doing now is recording the current state of things and then I'll get better 8/27/26 Might get back on this to see if there's a pattern with how I'm feeling, tracking the gerd and whatever throat has felt weird in the mornings for like a week without being sick, how strange woke up groggy around 7:30, had black tea with oatmilk toast with baba ganoush and tomato at work, matcha protein bar, nice 5/1/26 Let myself sleep in after my successful week Why is my voice gone? distressing minor rejections feel major because I'm pmsing feeling better now that I've had lunch and the graphic designer said he'd go to the ballet with me :) 4/30/26 Another successful wakeup- gonna buy this bikini wanna stop being on my phone first thing Chai and tofu on toast, half grapefruit, so good, coffee Planning for the summer, candyland theme Sleepy post lunch, still on the soup train, apple and pear It's comforting for me to catalogue my days this way Wishing I was doing more in the play, craving attention Feeling sort of small and sad Lentil soup and cucumber, strawberry dessert, watching Marie Antoinette Texting with Liz cheered me up 4/29/26 Every so slightly late to rise but I'm allowing it because I was worried about a cold, 7/7 huzzah Always hard to tell what is allergies and what is the perpetual mild illness of working with children had grapefruit and greenjuice and chai and folded my laundry watching devil wears prada Feeling sluggish and a bit off, worried about chloe Had my soup which continues to improve with time Stuffy at rehearsal, wishing I volunteered to do more but it's hard to feel outgoing in that way after work, there will be other opportunities I suppose Feeling peppy walking home, cucumber salad and rice pudding before bed 4/28/26 Up at 7:50, 6/7, god I'm a champion but now I am so sleepy had coffee and green juice and hashbrown and toast with nutella and strawberries for breakfast while watching more of Parthenope, how decadent lunch soup and pear, need to find a way to feel more productive when the first half of my day is so sedentary and unstimulating, part of why I'm hitting the flounder so often Awesome dinner of tofu and zucchini with curry powder and a peanut butter gochujang sauce Enjoying having some more time to cook, feels better in my body saw my first philly phlasher on the walk to the walgreens lol, he was like wiggling his penis at cars saying "my little peepee", no good Painted my nails and used nasal spray and ate strawberries and went to bed early 4/27/26 Woke up right at 8, counting it, 5/7, made pasta for lunch, ate some chips in the office, beautiful weather moderately successful day of literacy made a big soup and started Parthenope which I'm really enjoying evening hookup drinking nice orange wine, the celibacy has ended and I'm thinking, maybe I didn't need that as much as I thought I did. It was fun and good though. Maybe I just want to be in love a little bit is the thing, hard to say. Will see how saturday is with cartoon man. very sweet dog but now I'm all sniffly took a lyft home and in bed around 2 4/26/26 4/7 Tofu scramble breakfast with my parents, voice not back enough to sing with the choir :( Enjoyed the sermon, some metaphors that didn't totally hold for me but I loved the theme of race horses and wonder Gave Anne the pysanky, crazy to think about 60 years from now, or 60 years ago laundry and grocery shopping, roasting beets, finishing the chair frittata and arugula salad at Anna's house, watching breaking dawn, gossiping, good day 4/25/26 Very early wake up after very late night 3/7 chilly and rainy 5k walk, unable to speak, really need to figure out the voice thing breakfast and coffee at home, watching Challengers rehearsal in the afternoon, slithering across the floor, holding positions very chill and nice dinner at Unit Su Vege, actually feels so good to be sleepy and coming into a restaurant from the cold rain Finished Challengers, bedtime 4/24/26 another stunning win in my wake up before 8 scheme 2/7 Pap smear, yuck, got to watch the beautiful fish in the lobby tank and I especially like the ones with the highlighter orange fins and little mustache couldn't stop chuckling to myself on the walk home because when they asked me "are you sexually active?" I responded "not really but hopefully soon!" which I think is not the way you're supposed to answer that question lol Got a new little journal and some glue I needed for my tiny chair, ate a salad and hash brown and really went to town on my pysanky projects Chloe is not doing very well which is concerning but at least she has a roommate to check in on her now Met a lovely person on the el but then had to listen to the very crude banter of some school children for the rest of the ride Feeling charming and warm Awesome sandwich and cocktail and big beer at middle child, single oyster barcade, loving qbert hitting the club, very fun 4/23/26 Successfully woke up before 8, hoorah! 1/7 Masala burger from tjs on toast with guac, and a pear on the walk, and also some coffee, feeling a little sleepy but mostly very good Chip and chili lunch- wish i was doing stuff the whole day sometimes ate a burger patty for dinner at chloe's and walked the dogs, pip was so excited to see me that he spun around in circles for like 10 minutes and then he had all this energy so he humped his pillow for like an hour, the little freak is gonna mess his back up again voice is rough, skipped choir, sad nice walk home, watched a huge rat drag a paper cup into its little house, philadelphia is beautiful 4/22/26 Feeling unsettled and sluggish and grumpy and maybe still fighting a cold? The construction guys were just tossing pieces of wood out of the second floor onto the ground Had chili when I got to work and some little peaches I think I need to set a goal to allow myself to get these awesome bathing suits 1 week getting up before 8 = 1 bathing suit Baked lays from the wawa, love those things, good to get outside Ate a pear and some more cups of peaches and my tummy was feeling very weird at rehearsal but I had a very sweet moment with Debbie and I think we're gonna hang out 4/21/26 I wake up feeling good and comfy at 7:50, why oh why do I not get out of bed they are cutting down all the trees on my block, horrible, loud, sad, and ugly time for nice breakfast which I will describe in detail to put you on: bottom layer- piece of toast with mayo on top of that- hashbrown on top of that- orange bell pepper and soy chorizo on top of that- arugula, ketchup, maybe a little hot sauce Kind of want to try writing music? Beautiful walk from the el with my coffee but still grumpy from the loss of the trees Great day, almost cried cause this boy who's normally a real menace was being soooo sweet Good sandwich, chips, lots of little chocolate coconut things watching love island passively while I pysanky too much phone for sure 4/20/26 Jason's birthday! A litle late to work, woke up with another little sore throat, rats Quinoa and sweet potato and chickpea with bbq sauce and tahini Sleepy and a little off, maybe wanting caffeine Hard day, understaffed, lots of chaos but as always some sweet moments Obliterated, went to the trader joes and made a nice easy chili / bean soup? I've fallen off the bean/soup game but I'm back baby, it's like the improv jazz lol I'm an artist I'm in conversation with the beans Little coconut chocolate for dessert and some ginger kombucha and I watch the movie Babygirl with Nicole Kidman, maybe I should be finding someone to tell me what to do Maybe a little too much time on the phone but not tragic 4/19/26 Woke up a little too hungover and sleepy for church, croaky watched the sermon online and started pysanky for Anneiversary (60 years at first u) Lots of people are very moved by space travel, I think the beef I have with space travel is akin to the beef I have with the concept of moving to the west coast Hashbrowns, peanut noodles with carrots, putting away laundry, talking to my parents, going on a date pistachio latte and apple turnover lavendar saison watching the jazz improv good to remind myself that dates aren't scary and are sort of interesting but I was not inspired, I think it was mutual was inspired by the jazz though, don't like it on the radio but watching it happen is awesome wanted very badly to make out with someone but was thwarted by timing, maybe soon, planting the seeds of future hookups god willing 4/18/26 Breakfast with the director, was too timid to get the details very nice time, boiled egg, hashbrowns, cartoon looking toast, coffee with honey syrup and grapefruit juice headachey at rehearsal, succesfully choreographed cheese ballet Chips and dip Lucia birthday party, tropical cocktail and nice cirtusy olives, guinness at the karaoke bar, recruited two boys from the bus and sang my little heart out Sweaty 4/17/26 Out of bed 8:50, my sleepy morning self is like an animal I need to train, she looooves rolling over and snoozing Iced coffee and off brand zyrtec and listening to Al Bano and Romina Power on the el Meal prepped salad thing, I'm a champion Long day with the kids Feeling sleepy, cocktails with Jess and Jensen and Becca on the patio dippy dinner Rooftop bar and meet up with @lizardking post lily allen, popcorn from the met 4/16/26 Late wake up that felt necessary, not too bothered hot walk from the wrong el stop iced coffee and meal prepped salad and tropical fruit cup confiscated from a child and passed on to me feeling a little restless and twitchy, sort of floating around in my brain, maybe should start going on dates? Or writing more? watched a sparrow kill and eat a fly from my stoop, syrupy light in the new gingko leaves garbanzo burger and arugula for dinner citrusy mango sorbet missing rehearsal to do dishes and laundry, neverending upkeep of home and body which is sometimes burdensome and sometimes very pleasant now falling somewhere in between, towards the latter Little lonely and horny but probably not enough to do anything about it, I think it's the heat went for a walk, wrote a silly poem, swallowed garlic, mint tea, tv 4/15/26 Woke up unsure but after a hot shower and some water came to the conclusion that it was a grand success Huge confidence boost in the strength of my body, powerful Had a ginger shot and yoghurt and ran around on the beach and ate sandy snacks Cold cold ocean water and sand that wasn't quite warm enough cartwheels and failed handstands, skinned knee had angel hair with red sauce at the brigantine bistro and drank one pacifico with a chocolate pudding in the park swallowed more garlic and zinc and gargled more salt water just to be sure 4/14/26 Waking up late and quiche again at work This time remembered strawberries Started feeling a little out of it and by the end of the day felt sick and defeated, missed writing club and symposium Rallied and watched lots of instagram reels with "how to stop a cold in its tracks" hacks and did many of them repeating "I am well. I am not sick. Sickness cannot live in my body" Boiled red onion and pears and ginger, swallowed raw garlic, zinc supplement, the works Strange sleep with the window unit running 4/13/26 Woke up 8:20, here begins the slow improvement! Little bit of pysanky before I had to leave, chai and quiche which I completed cooking in the work microwave Eggs are still a mystery to me Pad thai at Anna and David's watching eclipse, felt a little insecure but bought a fun anne rice book and walked around in the sun and got to see David's cat who's perfect In bed around 12:30 4/12/26 Woke up late for church, a little croaky for singing but not too bad coffee and apple walking along the river grocery shopping, laundry, meal prep, egg hollowing Tokyo collins, sandwich and beer at Triangle Tavern, feeling intense need to be out in the sunshine as much as possible very sleepy, loving philadelphia finished my quiche, maybe undercooked it worked on pysanky Hard time getting to sleep, worried I got myself sick 4/11/26 waking up hungover after good sleep healing tofu scramble and coca cola in the sun cheese and crackers and big grapes and coconut cream pie with lactaid at the park bare feet on the grass and in the creek, watching the guys fishing very nice time too sweet strawberry cider sleepy quick burger back in the city and one more beer before returning home 4/10/26 Woke up again around 8:40 Wawa avocado toast and coffee really nice but long day with the kids running back to the veggie patty salad combo Drinking wine and beer with @ashley and @lizardking, cackling over kdawg, got shockingly drunk, maybe effect of the salads and blood stuff? 4/9/26 Friend cancelled coffee so I woke up at 7 and then back to bed and woke up late, 9:20, grrrrr Dream about getting to the airport and forgetting my passport for Spain, I have never done this but I have a nightmare about it at least once a year Lyft to work, shameful bad cup noodles and red bean mochi, earl grey tea Left work early for doctor's appointment, bloood drawn Salad and veggie patty before rehearsal 4/8/26 Out of bed 8:43 imagine that Weird dreams but less bad, exes making appearances awake for some time around 5 again Lentil and marinated carrot leftovers, yum Paralyzed by the state of the world, lots of phone checking tummy rumbly during very quiet rehearsal more leftovers after rehearsal Watched a little tv and then in bed around 1 4/7/26 Out of bed 9:20 lol, weird anxious night, BAD dream leftover pizza and salad coffee berry propel delicious meal at Casablanca including anise liquor on the rocks and lots of mint tea long walk home vitamin d soft gel would feel really good and full of love and I do but also the world is so fucked up and I'm scared 4/6/26 Out of bed at 8:40, rough frozen TJs meal and a yoghurt flounder <3 wawa coffee and grape propel pre children two small beers at erotic fanfiction competition i follow my impulse and do 20 minute detour to double back and get a slice of pepperoni pizza on my walk home, the beautiful man at the shop gives me an extra slice probiotic juice from my fridge before bed vitamin d soft gel striving towards: forgiveness, writing, identifying true desire and following impulse (positive), generosity, openness